Centered in the Saddle

I have to be honest; I’ve been feeling a little sorry for myself lately. Not that anything has been going poorly, in general. I’ve just been so busy. I keep catching myself thinking, “well, it’s back-to-school time.” Which is stupid, because I’ve been out of school for several years and there is nothing specifically school-related in my life right now. But I feel like I’ve been going on turbo for the last month or so.

I’ve barely been to the barn recently – that’s really why I feel sorry for myself, I think. We’ve had a bit of a break from lessons and I just haven’t had the time to go out and fuss around with Tuff, a little chestnut guy I’ve been riding here and there. More on him another time, but for now, here’s a picture of him. He’s adorable.

Lately, I’ve also been beating myself up a bit over those 3 1/2-ish years that I quit riding. I look back over the past year or so that I’ve been back and see all the progress I’ve made, and what the future may hold…and I can’t help but wonder where I would be if I had kept with it after I put Moses down. It’s stupid on a number of levels, really. First of all – it doesn’t matter, because I can’t change it now; I can only look forward. Secondly, I needed that time off. I couldn’t make myself set foot in a barn for a long time because I was totally shattered. Plus, if I’d kept with it then, I probably wouldn’t be where I am now – which is at an amazing barn with great friends, awesome horses work with, and a very successful show season under my belt. I think because I’m so happy now, I keep wishing that I’d figured it out sooner.

And so, instead of looking back, I’m going to look forward again. The view’s much better. Plus, lessons start up again tomorrow and I’m going to be working with a new horse! Her name is Knightwind and I’ve heard some interesting descriptions of her. At this point in time, all I know is that she is a bay mare composed of quite a few different breeds with an “unbelievable mane.” I’m not sure what that means, but I’m intrigued. I’ve heard she’s a sweet girl, and has had some trouble with pain/stiffness in the past. I know she’s been hitched and driven, and that she needs work to do. Sounds like a fun project!

Here’s to a fall of new adventures, a lot of learning and (fingers crossed) nice weather.