Centered in the Saddle

On the way to the show last weekend, a Macklemore song came on the radio. It really hits me hard every time I hear it – “Good Old Days.”

I wish somebody would have told me babe
Some day, these will be the good old days
All the love you won’t forget
And all these reckless nights you won’t regret
Someday soon, your whole life’s gonna change
You’ll miss the magic of these good old days

I’m originally from Minnesota. In the first verse, he talks about the snow and a famous club called First Ave., where I’ve been and can picture so clearly in my mind. So that makes me feel extremely nostalgic right off the bat.

And then there’s the fact that I know I’m currently living the ‘good old days’ right now.

I just married my best friend. I get to ride a horse that I have built a great partnership with. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m pretty comfortable with who I am and what I’m doing. I feel as though I’ve truly found a riding ‘home’ – in the barn I’m at, the friends I’ve made, and the sport I’m doing.

I’m happy.

I feel like this is a golden time in my life that I will always remember. But thinking that way makes me sad, because it reminds me that everything has an end. That’s not a bad thing – the good things come to an end just as the bad things do.

Someday soon, your whole life’s gonna change
You’ll miss the magic of these good old days

I said all of this to Trainer B as we drove down the highway to the show. Her response was so lovely. She said, in her experience, that every phase of life becomes the good old days – even the hard ones. There’s beauty and joy and precious moments in every time of life that we will look back on fondly and wish to return to.

She’s a wise lady.

I don’t want to miss the magic of these days just because I’m already sad knowing that they will eventually come to an end. I want to feel gratitude for these magical days.

I feel grateful for the fact that Duke now nickers to me every time I approach his stall.
I feel grateful for every cross country school.
I feel grateful for the moments when we achieve the feeling of suppleness in Dressage.
I feel grateful for the days spent building jumps with friends.
I feel grateful for every braid I put in Duke’s mane.
I feel grateful for the smell of fresh grass and the sound of a horse grazing.
I feel grateful for the special conversations that only seem to happen when hauling horses down the road.
I feel grateful for the knowledge I am gaining about this sport and about horsemanship in general.
I feel grateful for hay breath and a soft nose.

*Brb I’m crying a little.*

I think the magic actually comes from the fact that I’m feeling gratitude in combination with the knowledge that nothing stays the same forever. I like to call it pre-nostalgia. Or maybe it’s nostalgia-adjacent. Whatever it is, I’m just grateful to be living it.

Not very white…