For crying out loud. It’s been more than two weeks since I’ve been able to bring myself to sit down and write a blog post. In about that same time period, I’ve had two rides…one of which was today, and the other was a week or so ago and I had exactly zero motivation to actually do anything constructive.
I’ve been working pretty much nonstop the last few weeks, staying at the office late and putting in 10 or 11 hours pretty much every day, then coming home and pulling out the laptop to get some freelance work done. I’m not complaining (seriously, I’m not). It’s great that freelance work is booming and I don’t mind working hard, especially these days when the sun goes down at 4:30, which makes leaving the office at 5 feel pretty much the same as leaving at 8.
But on Friday, my brain shut down at around 1:30. It literally threw up its arms and said, “you know what, Lisa? I’m done with this. Good luck finishing the work day without me!” And by ‘literally’ I mean ‘figuratively.’ Suddenly, it felt like even the simplest tasks were just incomprehensible. So I did what any rational human would do and drank more coffee. Later that day, I saw myself in the mirror and I looked like a pale, red-eyed creature that hadn’t seen the light of day in about a month. And then it hit me – I actually hadn’t been out in the light of day in about a month.
I mean, I go outside to go to and from my car and home and at the office. I have a window (thank goodness) so I do see natural light. But I didn’t even realize that all this time had gone by and I had barely been out in the fresh air. No wonder I was feeling so run down!
Thankfully, I was planning a ride for the weekend. Even though it was cold, I bundled up and met Lizzie at the barn today. It turned out to be the most beautiful wintery day! The sun was out, and while it was cold, it wasn’t bitter. We rode inside for quite awhile and then finished up with a short loop on the trails. Husky had lots of energy and I think he had fun today, too. The fresh air and sun were amazing. Combined with the exercise from a great ride and I felt like a new person!
All this has made me stop and realize that I have not been centered in my life lately. I’ve been all about work. And while that’s okay for short periods of time when it’s necessary to just crack down and get the job done, in the long run it’s not fair to anyone. It’s not fair to the work I do because it deserves my full attention, not the braindead zombie I became on Friday. It’s not fair to my family and friends because I have been too tired and drained to even talk much on the phone. And it is really unfair to me, because I deserve to step back, relax and peer out of my office into the bright sunlight.
I have not been treating myself fairly lately, and I have forgotten to apply some of the most important riding lessons to my life away from the barn. I really did need the reminder today as I drove out of the farm driveway, the sun setting and my cheeks still stinging from the cold.
– Stay Centered –